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From seizures to seizing the moment: Poet writes of epilepsy, demons, life in the tough streets of Phoenix

Tom M. Scanlon

Mar 3

HARK!

I hear…an epiphany…

As it is the month of not only basketball craziness in America, but also the Irish-centric St. Patrick’s Day (an ancient and potent brand of March Madness), it is fitting to call to mind the elegant, frustrating and mad-brilliant Irish writer, James Joyce.

Joyce’s characters often had “epiphanies,” as described explicitly in “Stephen Hero"; Stephen Dedalus has a lightbulb moment while hearing a random snatch of conversation:

“This triviality made him think of collecting many such moments together in a book of epiphanies. By an epiphany, he meant ‘a sudden spiritual manifestation, whether in the vulgarity of speech or of gesture or in a memorable phase of the mind itself. He believed that it was for the man of letters to record these epiphanies with extreme care, seeing that they themselves are the most delicate and evanescent of moments…”

Francisco Torres knows all about how an ordinary moment can explode into overwhelming chaos.

Turning actual epiphanies into literary ones, his poetry often explores two powerful forces that can change a moment in the snap of a finger: epilepsy and life on the tough streets of Phoenix.

Growing up “near the projects” of Roosevelt and 20th, where gangs battled for territory and nights could be filled with gunshots and sirens, how did Torres discover poetry?

“The story behind it is pretty funny,” he said, smiling shyly during a Zoom interview this week. “It was my sophomore year in high school; honestly, until then, poetry was nowhere near my mind. But we had the option to write a five-page essay or a one page-poem. I didn’t do neither! But I was playing basketball and we had a game that day against our rivals, and if I don’t turn this in I can’t play.”

Hustling at the last minute, Torres decided to write a poem, since it was shorter.

“All the sudden I just started writing without thinking…Ever since that day, I just kept writing.”

At first, he thought poetry was “just about love heartbreak”; then, after reading poets who broke down a variety of subjects, he had an epiphany to write about his epiphanies:

“I started talking about my life with epilepsy, suffering seizures.”

After leaving Camelback High in 2011, Torres was all set to pursue a blue-collar passion.

“I graduated with five scholarships; my goal was to go for automotive, since I’m a car guy. But they didn’t accept me, due to my seizures. My second option was criminal justice, to become probation officer…But three months from graduation they dropped me from class due to absences. You were supposed to give notice but my seizures were unpredictable."

Thus began a miserable period in Francisco’s life.

“I had to stop working; I was at rock bottom for close to 10 years.”

His seizures became more frequent and debilitating.

“I used to have 10 seizures a week—or in a day—or a year; you just never knew.”

His epilepsy would send him into violent shaking for 2 to 3 minutes; and after they passed, he would be in a fog, dazed for a day or two.

Finally, when he felt like he would never have control over his life from the demon seizures, in 2018 Torres had brain surgery.

Shortly after the surgery, another seizure. “It lasted about 30 seconds. Then I got up, no problem.”

He hasn’t had a seizure since, allowing him to take a job at the Arizona Latino Arts and Cultural Center, where he organizes monthly poetry slams.

At 6 p.m. Friday, March 4, the downtown center celebrates women’s history month with “Latina Expressions.”

According to the center, “It will be a night full of performance art, poetry, and cultural dance.”

Artists include:

✨ Elizabeth Toledo

✨ Adriana Martinez

✨ Cora Talkington

✨ Pat Rod

✨ Cha Cha Chic Fashion by Cathy Garcia

“The whole point is female artists, actors, painters—it’s all about women,” Torres said. We’re accepting any woman who is interested.”

But…it’s not just for women. Torres himself will read a poem dedicated to women.

Cisco, as he goes by, bounces between English and Spanish in his intense poetry, such as “Depression vs. Demons,” where talks about how the struggles of his post-seizure life:

“I can't sleep I can't work...

These demons are killing me…

Please help...

I scream I cry but these tears don't come out

Somebody please fucking help…”

See him perform the poem here

Beyond writing, Franciso’s mission as he leaves his 20s (he turns 30 Sept. 2) is to spread the word about poetry as a creative outlet.

He still loves to be part of car culture.

How do they react, when he tells his muscle-car buddies he writes poetry?

“They look at me sideways,” Torres said, with a laugh. “Everywhere, they look at me sideways. They say I look ‘too thuggish’ to be a poet.”

That’s the point, he tells kids at schools where he gives talks: You don’t have to look or act any certain way to be a writer.

How do kids, notorious for short attention spans and eye-rolling, react to his poetry readings?

“They get into it. I tell stories around me growing up around poverty, gangs, drugs, violence. They can relate.”

He credits older brothers and a passion for sports for steering him from gangs and keeping him on the straight path.

To quote his Instagram site:

“Cisco is a spoken word artist from Phoenix, AZ. Themes of his work include epilepsy, growing up in AZ, and overcoming struggle.”

His next Downtown Poetry Slam at the Arizona Latino Arts and Cultural Center is March 19.

How many poets will be performing?

“As many as I can get!

“Anyone interested In performing, email me at DowntownPoetrySlam@gmail.com.”

He shared with HARK Valley his own poem he will proclaim at the women’s event:

Women To Woman/ De Mujer A Mujer

By: Francisco Torres

Yea

I Know What Your Thinking

What The Hell

Is A Man Doing!?

Speaking !

At A Women’s Exhibition!?

Si

Ya Se Lo Que Tu

Estas Pensando

Que Ase Un Hombre

Hablando

En Una Exhibicion

De Mujeres

Pues Deja Te Digo!!

So You See

I Grew Up

Surrounded

By Women

Yo Creci Rodeado

De Mujeres

But There’s This Women!!

That I Admire !!

Because Where She Was

I Was !

When She Moved

I Moved !

When She Cried

I Cried !

And

When She Spoke

I Listened !

Pero Ay Una Señorita

Que Yo Admiro

Muncho !

Por Que Donde Ella Estaba

Yo Estaba !

Cuando Ella Se Movia

Yo Me Movia !

Cuando Ella Lloraba

Yo Lloraba !

Y Cuando Ella Hablaba

Yo Escuchava !

This Women Raised Daughter’s

That Worn’t Even Hers !

She Raised

Nieces, Sister’s, Sister-In-Laws !

Any Women

You Can Think Of !

She Raised Her !

Esta Señorita

Lido Con Hijas

Que Ni Eran

De Ella

Lidio

Con Hermanas, Sobrinas, Cuñadas !

Con Cualquier Señorita

Que Tu Puedas Pensar

Ella

La Lidio !

They Would Come To Her

And Say !

I’m Tire

Of This

Shet !

The Way

He

Treats Me !

The Way

He Talks

To Me !

The Way

He

Kisses Me !

And The Way

He

Expresses Me !!

Ya Estoy

Cansada

Yo De Esto !

La Manera

En Que Me Habla !

La Manera

En Que Me

Trata !

La Manera

En Que

Me Besa !

Y La Manera

En Que

Me Expressa !

No Puedo

Yo Mas !

And This Women

Had A Saying

That She Would Say

To Them !

She Would

Say !

Look !

Women

To

Women !

Know Your

Worth !

Know Your

Value !

Don’t Let No Man

Come

And Put A Price Tag

On You !

You’re A Women !!

Not No Pair

Of Jeans !

Mira !

De Mujer

A

Mujer !

Sepan Su Valor !

Reconoscan Lo Que

Valen !

No Dejes

Que Venga Un Hombre

Y Te Ponga

Una Atiqueta !

Eres Una Señorita

No Un Par De

Pantalones !!

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